baby i will wait for you...

Well, just another day at the office today. I have a killer migrane so I am hoping for a short day!

I am house/dog sitting my folks place this weekend, hopefully mom has stocked the fridge for me! :)

Rhino performed at BBGS this last weekend, that was alot of fun and I got some fun pics too! I always have a fun time at their shows. Kurt the lead singer got me in on my Wild tickets this year which is amazing! I cant wait for the season to freaking start already!

Nothing new or exciting to report, ALTHOUGH! I did get to spend a few days down at my sisters this week... got to baby sit my nephew which was awesome! I cant believe how much I miss him and how big he has gotten, he's like a lil human now. He can do things for himself... and man that kid can run! I am going to talk my sister into letting me make Myles a halloween costume... I want him to be a lion! and then we can teach him to say "ROAR!" it will be awesome!

Menace this weekend! Cant wait for that!

Monday is labor day, I get to have the day off! I have to work Sunday night but thats okay bc its karaoke and that is always fun.

I am switching programs at school... going from Media Arts & Animation to Graphic design and I am so excited! I already do so much graphic design that it shouldnt be too much of a transition!

Anyways. Thats all for me today. I will check in later!

-Ciao!

Theres a shadow just behind me.

shrouding every step I take.

Making every promise empty. pointing every finger at me.

Waiting like a stalking butler, who upon the finger rests.

Murder now the path of must we, just because the son has come.

Jesus, wont you fucking whistle.

something but the past and done.

Why cant we not be sober?

I just want to start this over.

Why cant we drink forever?

I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar.

I am just an imbecile.

I will only complicate you.

trust in me and fall as well.

I will find a center in you.

I will chew it up and leave.
I will work to elevate you, just enough to bring you
down.

Mother mary, wont you whisper.

Something but the past is done.
Why cant we not be sober?

I just want to start this over.

Why cant we sleep forever?

I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar.

I am just an imbecile.

I will only complicate you.

trust in me and fall as well.

I will find a center in you.

I will chew it up and leave.

Trust me.

trust me.

trust me.

trust me.

trust me.

Why cant we not be sober.

I just want to start things over.

Why cant we sleep forever.

I just want to start this over.

I want what I want...

I want what I want...

I want what I want...

I want what I want...

Just leave the pieces when you go...

So my mind is all over the place today... fights on the home front have left me just a mess today. Not knowing which way is up or down anymore. I actually started this blog on Friday and I am just getting a chance to sit and write. The home front battles have turned into a full on war and I am feeling very defeated. I know this whole blog thing is suppose to be where I tell all about whats going on and maybe someday I will feel confident enough to share everything but I am so turned around right now I will leave it be. Although Vicki's "Leave the Pieces" last night may have been more ironic than I realized.

Traveled to the state fair last night! It was a fun trip... the ride started off with me being a bit shakened up but the day wasnt about me, it was about my best friend and I knew that so I pulled myself together long enough to get her through this expierence. I knew that I need to have my full game on to get her onto that stage, and I am so proud that she did what she did, a year ago that lil shy girl would have been throwing up in the bathroom or perhaps never performed at the county fair to start!

We got down to the fair, took us longer to park than it actually did to drive down there, or so it seemed. We hauled ass through the crowds of people at the fair to get to the state where she was performing. After a few tiresome acts, she finally got to perform! I think I was more nervous than she was... I couldnt sit down. BUT she did awesome, as soon as she got that first word out all my nerves were swept away...

Although she didnt place, everyone was so proud of her and so supportive and now we get to go to Menace on Saturday! lol.

After the show we wondered around with Vicki's cousin John and his buddy, we got some beer, ate a ero (not on a stick) and rode on this skyline thing that took you from one side of the park to another... it was super cool. AND WE GOT TO SEE JOHNNY LANG ON STAGE but only from the damn ride... yup... those are Johnny Lang's lights!

All in all, the state fair expierence went well, we had fun and Vicki got to do something that she would have never done before... I am very proud of her and now I get to move onto the next thing in my life... putting the pieces back together... or do we just leave em...

You're not sure that you love me

But you're not sure enough to let me go.

Baby it aint fair ya know

To just keep me hangin' round,

You say you don't wanna hurt me,

Don't wanna see my tears.

So why are you still standin' here

Just watchin' me drown?

And it's all right yeah I'll be fine

Don't worry bout' this heart of mine,

Just take your love and hit the road,

There's nothing you can do or say

you're gonna break my heart anyway,

So just leave the pieces when you go.

Now you can drag out the heartache,

Baby you could make it quick,

Really get it over with

And just let me move on.

Don't concern yourself

With this mess you left for me,

I can clean it up you see

Just as long as you're gone.

And it's all right yeah

I'll be fine don't worry bout' this heart of mine

Just take your love and hit the road,

There's nothing you can do or say

you're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go.

You're not makin' up your mind

It's killin' me and wasting time.

I need so much more than that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

And it's all right yeah

I'll be fine don't worry bout' this heart of mine

Just take your love and hit the road,

There's nothing you can do or say

you're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go.

Leave the pieces when you go,

oh yeah, Leave the pieces when you go,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Leave the pieces when you go

You go glen coco...

Wow, What a fucken night I had! Things started off fine, I was actually happy to be at work. My regular happy hour guys were there and we had a good time laughing and joking around. Slowed down for a bit between happy hour and karaoke but then it got busy. It was great, I was really happy to see it get like that.

Well it was about 10 or so and I had run to the back to check for Red Bull, my ponytail had fallen out so I hopped into the back bathroom *which very few people even know about* to fix it. That is when I noticed that some immature asshole had decided to take a permanent marker and write shit ALL OVER the bathroom stalls. Like we are back in seventh grade...

To make the "vandalisam" that much better, it was shit about me. Once I figure out how to get photos off this phone I will post em. Just a bunch of bull shit about god knows what.... So pretty much, someone came into my bar... stole my permanent marker... and wrote shit about me on my bathroom walls... way to go asshole!

What pisses me off more then someone saying shit about me, because I consider myself pretty confident and people can say shit about me all the fuck they want... write it on my car, write it in a text message, fucken have some balls and say it to my face... don't waltz your bitch ass into my place of employment and feel great about vandalizing my walls. That is what pisses me off the most, someone had to come in and destroy the place that I work, how does that make me look to my fellow employees, my karaoke dj and my customers. I don't come into your office and write bull shit all over your fucken cubicle. Have a little respect, not just for me and my bar and but for yourself.

Ok, ok enough swearing for me. Today is a new day and I can't dwell on the past. Although, some dicks were doing burnouts and whipping donuts in the parking lot last night and they got picked up. That was kinda funny.

Well, I am going to try and get my phone fixed today so wish me luck.

I'm out

All you've ever needed

Another day another dollar. just wrapping up working at the office and have to seriously change in the bathroom here and go straight to the bar to work karaoke tonight. Hopefully the crowd is good and I can make some well needed money...

On the home front, well not much on the home front... I actually haven't spent much time at home. Which is not a bad thing... just been keeping myself busy.

I am ready to welcome the weekend, that is one thing I know for sure! I have to work Friday night but Saturday night is Rhino at BBGS and I am excited to go and see Kurt, Eric, and Cookie! It will be tons of fun.

Sunday Vicki is competing in the MN State Fair Talent Contest, I am super proud of her and know she will do great. She needs to get over her nerves though... I wish I knew how to help her with this but my way of getting over it is to laugh it off and I don't know that she shares the same lightheartedness. Is that a word? And no its not that she not lighthearted but I brush things off and go with it, she has a different way of dealing with things. Which is what I love about her, she is hard headed and stubborn as shit but she has an amazing personality (if she doesn't pretend to get on the phone when you approach her lol) and she is my best friend. I know she will do great no matter what and I am going to be there every second to cheer her on or if needed, hold her hand and push her ass onto that stage! :0

Well, its off to the bar for me. have a good rest of the day and i will be checking in tomorrow.

ciao.

"be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr.Seuss

Clockwork

Nothing of great excitment in my life today, got to chat with my cousin about her and her baby in progress! That was really excited! I can't wait to go and see her and help her get ready for the lil peanut.

Been working on my sister and her girls costumes and dresses and such, that has been a task and a half. Painted for a bit today that kept my attention for about 20 minutes and then I was bored with what I was doing.

Seriously though, life has been boring. quite depressing once you actually write it out, its not hard to think about but its hard to write about!

Thats all for me, night.

Long Gone...

Quick nights sleep last night, laid my head down about 12:45 and the next thing I knew my alarm clock was screaming at me!

I was told yesterday that I was not liked by this man because I was a bartender, a man who I was serving. He was continually asking me... "how did you get here". I told him I drove my car but that was not the answer he was looking for, he meant how did you get to working at the bar.

So, how did I get to where I am today. In a crazy upside down adventure, that what should have been said. To get to where I am now, I have moved... moved from one state to another. Moved from one side of town to another. I worked retail, rode the subway, gave money to a homeless man, stayed up to see the sunrise. Learned how to draft patterns, bought a new car, slept on the couch, cried on the phone, ate a whole bag of chips. Became an auntie, colored with crayons, had a run in with the law and learned many lessons!

So all in all, I feel my ride to getting to where I am may not have been the greatest and I'm probably not where I am suppose to be quite yet, but I'll get there. And I will have MANY more stories to tell when that day comes. For now, all in all, life is good.

My sister has an awesome photoblog you should check out, awesome pictures of my adorable nephew Myles!

www.jmfeldman.blogspot.com

Alright, thats all for now.

Ciao.

Joining in...

So, I have decided to join the world of blogging. I have never really been that into it or really had an interest in leaving my feelings out there for the world to read, but I for some reason had a change of heart today. Not that anything special or eventfully has happened in my life that I want to share with the world but I am sure someday, SOMETHING will happen! So, welcome to my blog spot!

I am still looking for a new job, working for my folks is okay for the moment but wouldn't mind doing something different. Something more challenging perhaps.

I am still doing my thing behind the bar at Boonedocks, should be an interesting week without Kenny in town but I wish him all the luck in the world at his pool tourney! Way jealous, have fun in Vegas buddy!

On the home front, the house is a disaster, thats no joke! The dishes have managed to pile up from this last week, which was crazy with VBS, school (the little bit I actually go) and working. The dogs are driving me nuts, Ernie doesn't know how to grow up and still chews on everything, and gets into EVERYTHING!! I really think he needs to go to doggy day care but we cant afford it with both me and Jay being outta a job.

Well, I really don't have much more for tonight. Its getting late and I am tired. I will check in tomorrow if anything exciting happens, highly doubt it but we will see.

Night.