I can't believe how fast it happened
One second I was looking at a green light and traffic was moving forward
The next second the guy was stopped and I was in his boat.
A loud crash was heard and I just sat there, I couldn't move, I was frozen.
He got out and starting screaming at me, asking where my cellphone was!
Thankfully, for once, I did not have it sitting there, it was in my purse.
My mom was calling at that exact moment the man started yelling at me,
just moments after the crash.
I am okay, and thankfully so is the guy.
I have been taking it really hard.
Beating myself up for being so stupid to crash my car.
I know it is just a piece of metal, well now it is just a piece of twisted metal.
And I know cars can be replaced, but how much worse can things get.
I thought I had hit rock bottom, I thought my financial struggles and broken heart were enough.
Now this.
I am hurting, physically and emotionally today.
I am sore with an aching back.
I can't sleep, I just toss and turn.
I found out *he* has a new girlfriend
I do not want this to bug me,
I want to just be okay with it.
Knowing that he is happy makes me happy.
He deserves someone who can make him happy.
But it secretly (well not so secretly now) kills me inside
I am so sick of the gossip.
I am tired of people thinking they know me,
you don't.
I tried to do everything I could for him, I wanted him to be happy.
I forgot about myself in the process.
My personal happiness is what should always be what is most important to me and I forget that.
What was I suppose to do, continue to drown or finally come to the surface and breath?
I needed air for myself.
This was not what I was expecting.
Time heals all wounds, right?
Gosh, I hope so, I do not think I can continue feeling this way anymore.
I hope he is happy though.
I am ready for something great to happen....
